Times are exciting for me. There is much going on that is new, good, and benevolent in my life. Doors have opened simultaneously leading to new and exciting paths and I feel that as I walk down the hall even more, I will find that more and more doors will open.
The problem with open doors is that you can see what is inside, but only so much.
These decisions that I am making now, will affect my life for significant amounts of time and will also hold consequences proactive and retroactive.
For example...
If I take an internship this summer, even a short one, I will work unpaid for at least two months but gain experience that is relevant and important. I will have to dedicate the little money I have to sustain myself during the experience and will not have money to buy a camera which is also important to my steps becoming a filmmaker. I will have the opportunity to meet many different people that will have connections to helping me down the road but will loose the opportunity to stay with people that I care about here.
The above example is just a small example of some of the other doors that are opening to me.
Most of the doors require a commitment of a year or more, significant financial strain (that is ok with me), going to different countries or at least areas of the United States on and off for months, etc.
My head is full and I feel overjoyed but I also feel like I want to cry.
Something that adds to this stress is the fact that I didn't have enough time for the first time this semester to do the 100 pages of reading for my class. I only got through about 60 and I felt like I couldn't take anymore after a meeting about one of these opportunities and I have deadlines, homework, projects, and responsibilities that are knocking at my own door ready to cave in on me.
You ask for opportunities and they will come. I am grateful but frightened at the large steps that are ahead.
I know probably only 3 people will read this, and I hope that they know I care about them and am grateful for their friendship/love/support for me.
Hey at least it is raining today, that is nice.
Thanks!
5 comments:
What I wanna know is who are those supposed three people? Probably me, mom, and Noelle. No one else loves you.
Christopher I forgot your middle name Spencer! Who does not love Travis!?
It's Christopher James Spencer and Noelle's right, who doesn't love Travis.
I guess you're wrong, Chris :)
You're wrong too, Travis, because my comment means that at least 4 people read this post.
Good luck with those difficult decisions! I have felt that way sooo many times (in fact I've just recently gotten through a nearly year-long bout of what-ifs and where-to's... and I have a feeling my current contentment is only temporary) so I can sympathize. Through all the different challenges and decisions I find myself faced with, I take comfort in knowing that-- if I'm willing and WANT to do the right thing-- then Heavenly Father will NOT let me go astray. He has corrected my course more than once, and it was difficult and I still don't understand everything, but I know He will do the same for you. You are awesome!! Good luck on deciding your next great adventure!
You may want to hold off on the camera so you can get a red "scarlet" in the fall...? have you looked at it?
www.red.com sweet...
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